When faced with a crisis

By Carolyn McFann
When life is overwhelmingly difficult and you are suffering, don’t go through it alone. By reaching out to someone important to you, getting through the problem can be much more bearable. Allow yourself to reach out to others, because being human, life can be very hard for all of us at times. We’ve all been in crisis situations at one time or another. Even if other people may not have experienced what you are going through right now, let them be there to comfort and guide you.
Don’t let past issues with family members keep you from making contact with them, as long as you feel safe in doing so. Many of us have arguments or disagreements with our loved ones. Some may not speak to each other for awhile as a result of these. If the argument was petty and not dangerous in any way, reconnect with those you fought with, and come together in hard times. Life is just way too short to hold grudges and spend it hating anyone, especially family. In my younger years, one family member and I never got along, and we fought all the time. We were like oil and water, and constantly set one another off. With time to heal old disagreements and boundary setting (to teach others what you will and won’t accept in terms of behavior), I now have a very positive and healthy relationship with that person. My rationale is, that we all are only on this earth for a limited amount of time, so we need to make the best of our time here and work out petty issues with others we care about. It’s better to be loving and kind, than hostile, angry and bitter. There’s enough of that in the world on a daily basis, anyway.

There are other families where nobody is fighting, but due to geographic distance, it gets hard to take the time to see one another. This is the case in my family. We are all over the United States and instead talk by phone or e-mail. When crisis hits and we need eachother, we can still be there for eachother emotionally even if not there physically. It is a comfort to me just knowing that my family is only a phone call or mouse click away. When gas was cheaper, it was no big deal to drive 18 hours to visit my family during an emergency. Now, finances prohibit me from doing this as freely as before. But, everyone knows that I care, and that I am there for them, as they are there for me. This is a comfort when I feel stressed and alone.

Friends are also important, and sometimes are a good substitute when you have no family to turn to during troubled times. If you’re hurting, confide to a friend and don’t be ashamed. Let them be there for you. Good friends do that. Anyone who isn’t willing or patient enough to listen to someone who’s having a tough day may not be the best choice for a friend. So, turn to those with compassion and kindness. Simply describe what issue is bothering you and let them know that you are hurting. They may not solve your problem but just talking to them is comfort in itself.

Holding things in and being an “island” all alone isn’t healthy. Being somewhat of an introvert by nature, I fight that notion and reach out even when I don’t want to. Because it is better to stay connected with others and participate in life rather than hide away from it. People who I turn to during tough times, also know that I am sincerely there for them anytime they need it also. This world is so full of violence and sadness, so we need eachother as a “refuge” from it all, someone to stand with us and to care. If we could all do this, then kindness and peace would be more common. Start with yourself and allow others into your life when hurting. We’re all in this together and we need to work as a positive team, to make the world a better and happier place for everyone.

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