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No one can be happy everyday but let me explain to you…The Thing That Made Me Smile Today….
I was in a very intense co-dependent troublesome relationship for ten years.. And when it ended I was devastated. I was sad and felt like an absolute failure! But then one day after talking to my dad (the best person ever to bring a problem to), I finally understood that I had to walk through the pain and not run from it. Give into it, but not give up on love. Instantly I felt better. I knew that God didn’t intend for me or any of us to be alone. I had to be honest with myself; my real reason for the devastation was my fear that no other man would love me.
So then I went a little boy crazy. I dated a few guys, um…sort at the same time. (he he) Did things I had never done before. And had the best time ever! You see I was the relationship girl. I went from one committed long term relationship to the next! But this time I decided to take some time alone, (well kind of) and do things a little bit differently.
That was four years ago. It’s been four incredible years of self awareness and self worth! During that time, I turned 40 and got my master’s degree. I guess it was sort of a well timed midlife crisis that brought me back to life, actually it re-birthed (is that a word?) me. I thought I was so happy…then along came a guy.
A guy like none I had ever met or dated. A manly man’s man with a deep baritone voice and a hardy infectious laugh and yet so tender and so caring. I didn’t want any parts of him! Absolutely none!
Well today my friends the thought of how life’s changes can bring to me a new type of man makes me smile. I smile at that new relationship feeling that so quickly dissipates and only comes at the beginning.
I smile not because he did anything particularly special today. But because I know that even when doubt and fear creeps into my mind I can smile at the thought of it all. At the hope and uncertainly. At the fact that I’m not fearful of failure or pain.
Today I smiled at the fact that I have grown to a place where I can be happy no matter how much or even if he is around.
If you missed it, here is last week’s guest post The Thing That Made Me Smile Today!!
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After every significant relationship, I feel like you have to go through a process of self-awareness and re-birthing. I did the same thing, except minus the master’s (although I did get a new job that makes me happier!) But then when I was least looking, along came a wonderful someone who now makes me smile every day without me compromising me and my self-worth. Congratulations, and good luck
Twitter: 1lesscorpgirl
says:
That is oh so true! And thank you.
Twitter: brandyellen
says:
Love this! I can relate to you on many levels girl! You have come a long way and must keep moving forward. Smiling ROCKS!
Twitter: 1lesscorpgirl
says:
Thanks, I definitely have come a long way and will keep it up! I love that saying “Smiling ROCKS!” I just might get that on a t-shirt!
Twitter: shopwithmemama
says:
Good for you hon!
Twitter: 1lesscorpgirl
says:
Thanks.
Twitter: MamaDweeb
says:
amazing post! isnt it wonderful how life can change for the better?
Twitter: 1lesscorpgirl
says:
Thank you, yes it is indeed wonderful.
Twitter: thecouponsista
says:
Keep smiling my sister. Reminds me of Kirk Franklin’s new song. Have you heard it?
Twitter: 1lesscorpgirl
says:
Thank you, I will! I haven’t heard it yet, but I will definitely check it out! That might just be the next thing that makes me smile.
Twitter: taylorhomemom
says:
Having gone through a very similar experience, doesn’t it feel great to know that we’ve grown enough as adults to make better decisions for ourselves?? Congrats on the new, happier you!
Twitter: 1lesscorpgirl
says:
It does feel great! And thank you!
Love this artcles, smile today and give smile to all
Twitter: 1lesscorpgirl
says:
Thank you so much!
Twitter: wrestlingaddict
says:
Really great post!
Twitter: 1lesscorpgirl
says:
Thanks!
I am SO happy for you!
Twitter: 1lesscorpgirl
says:
Thank you!
I know exactly how you feel and I honestly believe that until a woman knows who she TRULY is and what she CAN do, she will never find the right man to partner with. Some of us learn those things early and some of us are a little more hard headed lol. I let go of a complete loser and decided I was done. I was gonna get 12 cats when the kids moved out and be happy. Then a man I never dreamed existed came into my life and he’s just absolutely IT. THE guy. I don’t worry where he is, I know he’s a good honest man who loves me as much as I love him. It’s amazing to finally know what love truly feels like and I hope everyone feels it at least once in their lifetime.
Twitter: 1lesscorpgirl
says:
It is a totally amazing feeling to realize your self worth in time to enjoy the experiences that life still holds for you! Congrats on your happiness and thank you for taking the time to leave a comment.
Twitter: mausekindmom
says:
soo proud of you hon…